Masks

Two musicians came to our school recently and talked about self-confidence and drugs. The thing that hit me the most was the fact that we all wear masks to hide who we truly are. We hide ourselves to make sure we're accepted by the society, to feel accepted. Most of the time, we feel miserable playing the part and that leads to many other paths. As he was telling his story, it sort of reminded me how I isolated myself into a box where no one can touch me. l mastered how to hide the truth. I think all these years of layering makes me even more sensible. There are days where I feel like I'm gonna crack. There are nights were cry myself to sleep hoping that I can let my mask down. I even dream about it. I know that day will come, but when? Will I always be what people expect me to be or will I finally breakaway from the grasp. In French, we had to write a poem about a cliché in life. At the end of the poem, I wrote "My mask has been finally been destroyed." I wrote that without even thinking why? It just sort of how I feel nowadays.

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Pamana Gala!!!

February 9, 2008 was Pamana's Gala. The event we've been practicing for months. The day started off with Practice!Practice!Practice! After the morning practice, you could feel huge tension in the group. But that's normal. Right? By the end of the day, all that tension was transformed into either nervousness or excitement. Everything went well, no major mistakes. It was really fun. Eventhough my feet were swollen the whole night. It was so worth it. Memories that will last forever. That night, I also realised how I love Pamana. I don't know what I would do without all of them. I actually found my love for dancing that I lost years ago. ♥

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My Story ( Idea from the Freedom Writers)

My story starts like everyone else's with a birth of a child. I was born early in the morning on the first day of the last month. As a young child, I was very active, but as soon as I started school I feel as if I'm closing in on myself. Shutting everyone out of my mind. It's sort of one of my useless talents. Pretending. Being someone I'm not. Being what they expect me to do. That's probably why I stopped skating. Pressure. I hate that word because I always feel pressured to succeed, but all I want to do is live life at it's full. Learning from my mistakes. That's what I intend to do. So my blog will sort of be like the journal in the Freedom Writers.

blue-butterfly@live.ca